I wish I only lived at night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
