Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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