Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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