I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I would ride that face into the sunset
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
