I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
