you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
its liver damage thursday
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
