I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
