stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
