Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize