i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
