woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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