The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
