To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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