I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
