bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
