First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I love you. Go after that dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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