I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
