I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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