4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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