id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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