Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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