i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize