And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize