Why are handjobs necessary in class?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
