Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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