they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
