Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize