I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
