I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
