a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
