It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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