no you cant smoke seaweed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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