Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
