I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
