i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
