i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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