The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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