she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
