Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize