I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
