I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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