he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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