My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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