What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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