Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
