at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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