I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
