We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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