So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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