i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
