I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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