I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
