Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
