guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
