Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
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hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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