me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How naked do you want me to be?
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