How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Randomize
