Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
