apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
