butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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